Those who know me know that a couple of years ago, I had a serious needle phobia. The thought of needles used to make me feel faint, and I used to get so worked up before having a blood test that it made things worse than they were. I have gotten much better in the past year. Being on mercaptopurine means that I have to have blood tests every 2-4 weeks. I think I must have had nearly 100 blood tests in the past year alone. Needles no longer phase me as much as they used to. I still can't watch the nurses/phlebotomists/HCAs take my blood, but I can stand them now without feeling faint.
I was in the hospital on Saturday for my second colonoscopy in the past year. The result of the colonoscopy is the difference between better medication and staying on the medication I'm on. I had a cannula inserted into my arm and was fine until I looked at it. The blue dots and faintness of my previous needle experiences returned. I'm not sure if it was looking at the cannula or the blood that was under the bandage (the cap wasn't on properly).
Other than hardly remembering the procedure, it went quite well. I just hope the results are what I need for new medication.
Monday 11 November 2013
Sunday 29 September 2013
Youtube Vlog
So I thought I'd try my hand at vlogging as well as blogging, so here's my youtube channel. Please go have a look around, there's only one vlog up there at the moment but I'm working on more.
Tuesday 24 September 2013
What's it Like Being a Student with Chronic Pain?
Being in pain isn't fun. When you're young, you get days off school. That may look fun when it's not you, but you miss quite a lot. And when you get back after having a week or so off, everyone asks you where you've been. It gets annoying fast. But that's secondary school for you. My mum was always worried that social services would get called because I was always ill. I think the only fun thing about being ill at school was having a pass that allowed me to leave lessons 5 minutes early with a friend to assist me before break times to beat the rush of students so I wouldn't get jostled (the 'Get Out of Class Free' card as we called it).
By the time college came around, I'd learned to manage my pain and got 100% attendance, the first time since Year 1 probably (I had chronic tonsillitis so I was always off with sore throats, and then my knees and hips started off my arthritis time off in Year 2 or 3).
When looking at universities, I found the best thing to do was to talk to the disability advisor about what they could do for me and what I would have to do before I arrived, if I went to that university. They were very happy to help, and amazing listeners.
I was advised to apply for D.S.A. (Disabled Students' Allowance) on the grounds of my arthritis. I have to say that it has helped greatly knowing I had note takers available if I was unable to go to a lecture, and having timed breaks and extra time during an exam. I did receive timed breaks and extra time during my A Levels too, as was decided before I arrived at college. I had monthly meetings with the disability advisor at college, and similar meetings with my disability advisor at university.
My university tutors all know who I am. I notice that they look out for me whenever I walk into a lecture theatre.
It is difficult always being in pain. Though my friends look out for me, they do not understand my pain. They do try. Some days I look fine, though not so much on the inside. I walk slower than the rest of my friends, and I always feel like I am being left behind. My boyfriend usually slows down and waits for me while the rest continue on, but not always. Some days I do look ill; pale, dark circles under my eyes, even the way my voice sounds and how I walk. My mum says I waddle like a pregnant duck (thanks mother).
It's been nearly a year since I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. The first few months before I was diagnosed were absolutely terrible. Luckily my education wasn't affected by this as it happened during my Placement Year. I was extremely worried that I would lose my place, but luckily I did not. It has, however, worried me about any future jobs I may acquire.
Pills, pills galore. I was taking 1000mg of ibuprofen three times a day every day during secondary school. I was allowed to visit the nurse to take them whenever I needed them, or if I just needed a break. I dread to think what that might have done to me. Then, when I first saw my rheumatologist, I was put on all sorts of medication. Methotrexate, hydroxychloroquine sulphate and azathioprine are a few that I have taken in my teenage years. Those ones have truly terrified me. My overnight bag that I take when I visit my boyfriend sounds like a baby's rattle with all the pills I have to take.
So, to answer the question of the title of this post, it is very difficult being a student with chronic pain. You have to keep on top of your lessons/lectures when you are not there to receive the education in person (one teacher even went as far as thinking that I was skipping his classes). Some teachers (head of house/year, your tutor etc.) really do want to help you, and it's these teachers that you've got to tell what's going on in your life and if you're falling behind. You have to recognise who to ask for help: teachers, parents, friends. Never be afraid or embarrassed to ask for help. People may expect a certain amount from you, especially if you have shown that you can do extraordinary things on your good days. I'm not saying to not always be extraordinary, but just be careful because they will end up expecting that when you are not so good (especially if you have hidden illnesses like myself; I would nearly always look well when I wasn't).
Don't let your pain rule you. I have always tried to soldier through my pain, and it will occasionally come to bite me in the bottom. The one thing I will always do is get out of bed; it's so easy to just stay in bed because it hurts to move, but once you get moving, things get better. The world is going to continue without you if you just stay in bed, so go out there and enjoy yourself. You may not be able to do much, and don't over-do it either or else the next day is going to be even harder, but try and do at least one thing each day (other than get out of bed). Call your friends, or meet up with them. Go to the park. Give your grandparents/parents a hug. Do anything that will get you out of bed. It helps.
By the time college came around, I'd learned to manage my pain and got 100% attendance, the first time since Year 1 probably (I had chronic tonsillitis so I was always off with sore throats, and then my knees and hips started off my arthritis time off in Year 2 or 3).
When looking at universities, I found the best thing to do was to talk to the disability advisor about what they could do for me and what I would have to do before I arrived, if I went to that university. They were very happy to help, and amazing listeners.
I was advised to apply for D.S.A. (Disabled Students' Allowance) on the grounds of my arthritis. I have to say that it has helped greatly knowing I had note takers available if I was unable to go to a lecture, and having timed breaks and extra time during an exam. I did receive timed breaks and extra time during my A Levels too, as was decided before I arrived at college. I had monthly meetings with the disability advisor at college, and similar meetings with my disability advisor at university.
My university tutors all know who I am. I notice that they look out for me whenever I walk into a lecture theatre.
It is difficult always being in pain. Though my friends look out for me, they do not understand my pain. They do try. Some days I look fine, though not so much on the inside. I walk slower than the rest of my friends, and I always feel like I am being left behind. My boyfriend usually slows down and waits for me while the rest continue on, but not always. Some days I do look ill; pale, dark circles under my eyes, even the way my voice sounds and how I walk. My mum says I waddle like a pregnant duck (thanks mother).
It's been nearly a year since I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. The first few months before I was diagnosed were absolutely terrible. Luckily my education wasn't affected by this as it happened during my Placement Year. I was extremely worried that I would lose my place, but luckily I did not. It has, however, worried me about any future jobs I may acquire.
Pills, pills galore. I was taking 1000mg of ibuprofen three times a day every day during secondary school. I was allowed to visit the nurse to take them whenever I needed them, or if I just needed a break. I dread to think what that might have done to me. Then, when I first saw my rheumatologist, I was put on all sorts of medication. Methotrexate, hydroxychloroquine sulphate and azathioprine are a few that I have taken in my teenage years. Those ones have truly terrified me. My overnight bag that I take when I visit my boyfriend sounds like a baby's rattle with all the pills I have to take.
So, to answer the question of the title of this post, it is very difficult being a student with chronic pain. You have to keep on top of your lessons/lectures when you are not there to receive the education in person (one teacher even went as far as thinking that I was skipping his classes). Some teachers (head of house/year, your tutor etc.) really do want to help you, and it's these teachers that you've got to tell what's going on in your life and if you're falling behind. You have to recognise who to ask for help: teachers, parents, friends. Never be afraid or embarrassed to ask for help. People may expect a certain amount from you, especially if you have shown that you can do extraordinary things on your good days. I'm not saying to not always be extraordinary, but just be careful because they will end up expecting that when you are not so good (especially if you have hidden illnesses like myself; I would nearly always look well when I wasn't).
Don't let your pain rule you. I have always tried to soldier through my pain, and it will occasionally come to bite me in the bottom. The one thing I will always do is get out of bed; it's so easy to just stay in bed because it hurts to move, but once you get moving, things get better. The world is going to continue without you if you just stay in bed, so go out there and enjoy yourself. You may not be able to do much, and don't over-do it either or else the next day is going to be even harder, but try and do at least one thing each day (other than get out of bed). Call your friends, or meet up with them. Go to the park. Give your grandparents/parents a hug. Do anything that will get you out of bed. It helps.
Sunday 14 July 2013
I Missed My Train Today
It was the last day of my boyfriend's 21st birthday. A very warm day indeed with highs of 28 degrees Celsius. It was a wondrous day full of family and friends and lots of cake.
We came across a traffic jam on the M25 on the way to the train station after having to cut my evening short due to my impending train journey. The look of dread was a common look among my mum, sister and myself as we knew, at that moment, I would not make my train and we may be travelling to Loughborough by car. My mum suggested I rang the train station to see if I could catch the later train, but seeing as though the station is on the way to Loughborough, we would just slip in and see there and then.
20 minutes passed and we were only moving at a snail's pace. Then 2 unmarked police cars came hurtling past on the hard-shoulder, followed by a Highways Agency 4x4 and 2 incident support trucks (or tow trucks really but that's what they had on the side). Another 10 minutes passed and we could hear a siren, possibly an ambulance we thought. It was behind us, and not getting any closer and we couldn't figure out why. A quick look to the hard-shoulder told us that the road works currently occurring on that stretch of M25 (like the rest of it) had closed the hard-shoulder. My mum, along with the other drivers stuck on the road, tried to move as best they could with the limited amount of room and 2 fire trucks drove past. Then another 2 came along. As we slowly reached the tunnel before the A10 turning, we could see that 3 of the 4 lanes had been closed off and cars we slowly being allowed through the single lane of the tunnel, and the accident. Another 2 fire trucks slowly edged their way through the small gap between cars and the cones the Highways Agency had used to close the lanes. As we passed the accident it looked like a mini-van had gone into the back of a 4x4, and someone was on a stretcher (I know, we're nosey).
After that it was smooth sailing to the train station. I was 15 minutes late to my train, so if the mini-van hadn't gone into the back of the 4x4, we would have made it with 15 minutes to spare. Luckily, I had the right type of ticket so I could just jump onto the next train.
Here's me thinking my life is so uneventful.
 |
| Those are not ice creams but cupcakes inside ice cream cones topped with dairy free butter cream and an assortment of toppings. |
20 minutes passed and we were only moving at a snail's pace. Then 2 unmarked police cars came hurtling past on the hard-shoulder, followed by a Highways Agency 4x4 and 2 incident support trucks (or tow trucks really but that's what they had on the side). Another 10 minutes passed and we could hear a siren, possibly an ambulance we thought. It was behind us, and not getting any closer and we couldn't figure out why. A quick look to the hard-shoulder told us that the road works currently occurring on that stretch of M25 (like the rest of it) had closed the hard-shoulder. My mum, along with the other drivers stuck on the road, tried to move as best they could with the limited amount of room and 2 fire trucks drove past. Then another 2 came along. As we slowly reached the tunnel before the A10 turning, we could see that 3 of the 4 lanes had been closed off and cars we slowly being allowed through the single lane of the tunnel, and the accident. Another 2 fire trucks slowly edged their way through the small gap between cars and the cones the Highways Agency had used to close the lanes. As we passed the accident it looked like a mini-van had gone into the back of a 4x4, and someone was on a stretcher (I know, we're nosey).
After that it was smooth sailing to the train station. I was 15 minutes late to my train, so if the mini-van hadn't gone into the back of the 4x4, we would have made it with 15 minutes to spare. Luckily, I had the right type of ticket so I could just jump onto the next train.
 |
| After we passed the accident, the clockwise lanes were shut due to the road being uneven after an accident (I assume the accident part). This was the couple-mile long queue. I'm glad we weren't in that. |
Friday 12 July 2013
Challenge Failed
Well I only lasted a week and a half. I'm really upset with myself. I'm not sure if I could have continued with it or not though.
Yesterday I woke up and everything hurt - my muscles and joints. My muscles feel like they are all bruised and my joints just ache. I'm still getting on with things though, going to work and such. I'm not sure what brought on the ache, I'm just hoping it's not a flare up.
My boyfriend's 21st birthday was a success last week. We went to London for the day, explored Camden market again, nearly bought the whole of Forbidden Planet, and ate our weight in ribs at Bodeans. On Saturday he had all of his dad's side of the family round for a BBQ which was very nice indeed, and this Sunday he's having his mum's side of the family round for another BBQ. More trains!! I love trains.
My computer is still trying to fix itself. Good old fashioned Check Disc. Everyone I've spoken to about it though have said to just scrap it and buy a new and more reliable one. I think I will once I've backed up all of my data though, if I can back it up when it finishes.
Oh well... Train soon :)
Yesterday I woke up and everything hurt - my muscles and joints. My muscles feel like they are all bruised and my joints just ache. I'm still getting on with things though, going to work and such. I'm not sure what brought on the ache, I'm just hoping it's not a flare up.
My boyfriend's 21st birthday was a success last week. We went to London for the day, explored Camden market again, nearly bought the whole of Forbidden Planet, and ate our weight in ribs at Bodeans. On Saturday he had all of his dad's side of the family round for a BBQ which was very nice indeed, and this Sunday he's having his mum's side of the family round for another BBQ. More trains!! I love trains.
My computer is still trying to fix itself. Good old fashioned Check Disc. Everyone I've spoken to about it though have said to just scrap it and buy a new and more reliable one. I think I will once I've backed up all of my data though, if I can back it up when it finishes.
Oh well... Train soon :)
Saturday 29 June 2013
New Challenge!
So I set myself a new challenge last weekend: wake up at 6:15 on weekdays and 7:00 on weekends (because nobody is up at 6:15 on the weekend) for 30 days and see how I feel. I did really well last week; I woke up at 6:15 every day.
I got a lot done today because I got up so early. I had my hair trimmed, did some shopping, went to the library and the post office. All before 11. Usually I'm not up until 11. It gave me the rest of the day to work on my computer (the SSD is corrupted I think so I lost my OS as well as some games. Luckily most of my data was on my 2TB HDD). I managed to get Windows 7 onto a partition on my HDD made on Ubuntu. Got to love USB Live Ubuntu.
This evening my fingers, feet and knees have started aching. My fingers are warm and it hurts to move them, as with my feet. It's only a dull ache at the moment, but it's worse than usual. I'm not sure if this is a side effect of waking up early, but I kind of hope it is. Because the only other possibility is an arthritis flare. It's too late to be virus related because I had a cold last week and it should be out of my system by now; I'm not showing any symptoms of the cold any more.
I got a lot done today because I got up so early. I had my hair trimmed, did some shopping, went to the library and the post office. All before 11. Usually I'm not up until 11. It gave me the rest of the day to work on my computer (the SSD is corrupted I think so I lost my OS as well as some games. Luckily most of my data was on my 2TB HDD). I managed to get Windows 7 onto a partition on my HDD made on Ubuntu. Got to love USB Live Ubuntu.
This evening my fingers, feet and knees have started aching. My fingers are warm and it hurts to move them, as with my feet. It's only a dull ache at the moment, but it's worse than usual. I'm not sure if this is a side effect of waking up early, but I kind of hope it is. Because the only other possibility is an arthritis flare. It's too late to be virus related because I had a cold last week and it should be out of my system by now; I'm not showing any symptoms of the cold any more.
Saturday 22 June 2013
It's Supposed To Be A Good Thing, Right...
When your doctor tells you that you are too well to go onto a different, and possibly better, medication? That's what my gastroenterologist told me back in April, but I didn't feel well and still don't really. True, I haven't had any really bad flare up symptoms, but it's the annoying little ones that get me down. They're like small insects always buzzing around me.
My arthritis symptoms already cause me to have very little energy throughout that day, what with my immune system always fighting my joints and whatnot. I call it my background noise. I wouldn't know what life would be like without it. I rarely get an arthritis flare up anymore, which is really good. My physiotherapist tells me it's partially because my pain threshold has increased dramatically since I first saw her when I was 14.
I know people with Crohn's disease who are a lot worse off than I am in regards to symptoms. I send my love to you all. My worst pain at the moment is just severe stabbing pains in and around my abdomen. They happen frequently, and I'm sort of getting used to them now but they do stop me in my tracks when they occur. The most annoying symptom is having to rush to the toilet several times a day (sorry for any images this may have conjured).
My current medication is alright - I'm on 50mg of 6MP and 2g of Sulfasalazine - but I'd prefer not to have any sudden stabbing pains. I'm sure that if I wasn't on these medications that I would be a lot worse. That's what I've got to remember whenever I complain about my pains.
My arthritis symptoms already cause me to have very little energy throughout that day, what with my immune system always fighting my joints and whatnot. I call it my background noise. I wouldn't know what life would be like without it. I rarely get an arthritis flare up anymore, which is really good. My physiotherapist tells me it's partially because my pain threshold has increased dramatically since I first saw her when I was 14.
I know people with Crohn's disease who are a lot worse off than I am in regards to symptoms. I send my love to you all. My worst pain at the moment is just severe stabbing pains in and around my abdomen. They happen frequently, and I'm sort of getting used to them now but they do stop me in my tracks when they occur. The most annoying symptom is having to rush to the toilet several times a day (sorry for any images this may have conjured).
My current medication is alright - I'm on 50mg of 6MP and 2g of Sulfasalazine - but I'd prefer not to have any sudden stabbing pains. I'm sure that if I wasn't on these medications that I would be a lot worse. That's what I've got to remember whenever I complain about my pains.
Friday 14 June 2013
Am I Really Of That Age?
Yesterday, a friend from Primary School had her first child. She's the same age as me, 21. Many of my friends from Secondary School have also had at least one child by now.
One of my best friends from Secondary school and I go out for lunch whenever I'm back in Essex. It's like a tradition now. We catch up (it's usually every 6-odd weeks we see each other), talking about our boyfriends and what not, and sometimes talk goes to our friends who are now mothers. I don't really see them any more, but she sees them often. She tells me how its always baby this and baby that and 'I can't come out today, I don't have a babysitter' and that she's a bit fed up with them because they don't seem to have their own lives any more. Fair enough, having children does that, but we're still meant to be enjoying our lives as our own, still growing up. We, my friend and I, aren't looking down on them or anything for having children - it was their choice. We then go on to talk about our futures. She's got enough money now to go towards a house with her boyfriend of 2 years, and my boyfriend of 4 years and I are talking about jobs and houses for after graduation. It's all rather exciting. We're both in similar points in our lives, and it's nice to talk to someone about it who isn't a guy (99.9% of my friends are male). It may seem archaic nowadays, but we believe in finding a man you want to stay with, moving in with them, getting married and then having children.
Anyway, I got my usual monthly medication from the Pharmacy on Tuesday. For the first time ever, I was asked if it was okay for one of my bottles to not have a child safety cap. Am I of an age now where people may assume I have children?
One of my best friends from Secondary school and I go out for lunch whenever I'm back in Essex. It's like a tradition now. We catch up (it's usually every 6-odd weeks we see each other), talking about our boyfriends and what not, and sometimes talk goes to our friends who are now mothers. I don't really see them any more, but she sees them often. She tells me how its always baby this and baby that and 'I can't come out today, I don't have a babysitter' and that she's a bit fed up with them because they don't seem to have their own lives any more. Fair enough, having children does that, but we're still meant to be enjoying our lives as our own, still growing up. We, my friend and I, aren't looking down on them or anything for having children - it was their choice. We then go on to talk about our futures. She's got enough money now to go towards a house with her boyfriend of 2 years, and my boyfriend of 4 years and I are talking about jobs and houses for after graduation. It's all rather exciting. We're both in similar points in our lives, and it's nice to talk to someone about it who isn't a guy (99.9% of my friends are male). It may seem archaic nowadays, but we believe in finding a man you want to stay with, moving in with them, getting married and then having children.
Anyway, I got my usual monthly medication from the Pharmacy on Tuesday. For the first time ever, I was asked if it was okay for one of my bottles to not have a child safety cap. Am I of an age now where people may assume I have children?
Wednesday 22 May 2013
Wednesday Wonderings: Cyclists vs Drivers
I am a cyclist, but I make sure that I abide by the Highway code. I read it before cycling at university because I was never on the roads before without my dad with me.
There is currently a war between cyclists and drivers, both saying that it's the other's fault for causing accidents. Now, I don't ride my bike outside the university grounds because I'm too scared that I'll get hit. I wear a helmet at all times, and usually gloves. Most cyclists I see don't even wear a helmet and sometimes even wear their headphones!
Cyclists wonder why they get hurt, and I have seen, plenty of times, cyclists jump red lights. They are there for a reason! There has even been made a specific area at the top of the traffic light queue for cyclists to wait. And many cyclists don't indicate, don't stay single file by the curb, and don't go into the correct lane when they are coming up to a junction. It annoys me also that cyclists ride on the pavements instead of the roads because they are scared of getting hit. Unless it is stated that the pavement is for both cyclists and pedestrians, you can't ride on it. You have a chance of knocking someone over.
Most drivers don't really help the situation too much either though. Like cyclists, they will jump the lights (though not as often as cyclists), don't indicate and go into the incorrect lane. Some drivers even forget that they have mirrors attached to their cars.
Now Scotland are trying to enforce a new law where the driver is always at fault if they hit a cyclist, but that isn't fair if the driver has been abiding by the rules and the cyclist hasn't. My dad was in a traffic jam, moved about 3 inches into the other lane to go a different way (he was going about 3 mph), and a motorcyclist hit him. Luckily, my dad wasn't charged with anything, but it's this problem that could cause innocent people to get points on their license or even end up in jail.
So there is no winner, because both cyclists and drivers are to blame.
There is currently a war between cyclists and drivers, both saying that it's the other's fault for causing accidents. Now, I don't ride my bike outside the university grounds because I'm too scared that I'll get hit. I wear a helmet at all times, and usually gloves. Most cyclists I see don't even wear a helmet and sometimes even wear their headphones!
Cyclists wonder why they get hurt, and I have seen, plenty of times, cyclists jump red lights. They are there for a reason! There has even been made a specific area at the top of the traffic light queue for cyclists to wait. And many cyclists don't indicate, don't stay single file by the curb, and don't go into the correct lane when they are coming up to a junction. It annoys me also that cyclists ride on the pavements instead of the roads because they are scared of getting hit. Unless it is stated that the pavement is for both cyclists and pedestrians, you can't ride on it. You have a chance of knocking someone over.
Most drivers don't really help the situation too much either though. Like cyclists, they will jump the lights (though not as often as cyclists), don't indicate and go into the incorrect lane. Some drivers even forget that they have mirrors attached to their cars.
Now Scotland are trying to enforce a new law where the driver is always at fault if they hit a cyclist, but that isn't fair if the driver has been abiding by the rules and the cyclist hasn't. My dad was in a traffic jam, moved about 3 inches into the other lane to go a different way (he was going about 3 mph), and a motorcyclist hit him. Luckily, my dad wasn't charged with anything, but it's this problem that could cause innocent people to get points on their license or even end up in jail.
So there is no winner, because both cyclists and drivers are to blame.
Wednesday 15 May 2013
Exciting Updates
I walked 10km on Saturday with my dad and raised over £300 for Crohn's and Colitis UK and FORTH. I'm really proud of myself because I didn't stop once, and my dad thought I was going to on the final hill (I would call it a mountain). We did it in 2 hours and 25 minutes and managed to finished just before the rain decided to fall.
It was also my dad's 60th birthday on Monday. I can't believe he's 60! You wouldn't think it if you met him. He has too much energy for someone who is meant to be 60. We (my mum, sister and I) got him a microlight experience and he should really enjoy that as it's his kind of thing. We ate a lot of food over the weekend in celebration (we went out on Saturday, Sunday and Monday). But alas, I could not eat any of the cake :(
It was also my dad's 60th birthday on Monday. I can't believe he's 60! You wouldn't think it if you met him. He has too much energy for someone who is meant to be 60. We (my mum, sister and I) got him a microlight experience and he should really enjoy that as it's his kind of thing. We ate a lot of food over the weekend in celebration (we went out on Saturday, Sunday and Monday). But alas, I could not eat any of the cake :(
Thursday 9 May 2013
Wednesday Wonderings: Travelling with Headphones On
This is something you probably see every day - someone with their headphones on listening to music while walking around. Are people so anti-social these days that they can't go for an x minute walk without listening to music or even an audio book? And, not to forget, it's rather dangerous because you have little awareness of your surroundings, no matter how carefully you look around when crossing the road.
It's not just people walking around but I've seen cyclists and drivers wear them too. Cyclists need to be extra careful because they are on the road with little protection on (especially as many people don't wear helmets anymore) surrounded by heavy metal boxes going faster than them. And drivers with headphones in is just stupidity. What happens if something goes wrong with your car but you could have prevented it because you heard it before it got worse? Or if an emergency vehicle is coming up but you don't see them?
What's worse is when you can hear someone's music from across the road. That person clearly doesn't want to hear anything in a few years time.
It's not just people walking around but I've seen cyclists and drivers wear them too. Cyclists need to be extra careful because they are on the road with little protection on (especially as many people don't wear helmets anymore) surrounded by heavy metal boxes going faster than them. And drivers with headphones in is just stupidity. What happens if something goes wrong with your car but you could have prevented it because you heard it before it got worse? Or if an emergency vehicle is coming up but you don't see them?
What's worse is when you can hear someone's music from across the road. That person clearly doesn't want to hear anything in a few years time.
Thursday 18 April 2013
Wednesday Wonderings: Trains
I know today isn't Wednesday, but I was out the whole of yesterday and didn't get a chance to write a post.
I'm on the train. A lot. It feels like I'm on the train at least twice a week (partially because for the past 3 weeks I have had return journeys). I need an aisle seat for my arthritis and Crohn's - it makes things easier if I need to rush to the toilet or get up and stretch - so I always choose it as a preference when booking my tickets. One thing I do not get, though, is why one of the preferences while booking train tickets is to sit at a table. Having a table seat restricts your leg room and you are facing at least one other person. No one wants that. The only time having a table seat is good is when you have the whole table to yourself.
Rant over :)
Tuesday 16 April 2013
Exciting Times
I got incredibly fed up with my gastroenterologist (as you may have noticed from an earlier post), so after talking it through with my parents and boyfriend, we have decided that it would be best for a second opinion. I saw my GP and he referred me to a clinic in London who my best friend's dad (who has had Crohn's for about 30 years) is under. My original appointment wasn't until the end of the month, but the hospital rang me and my doctor had referred me to the wrong clinic, and the next appointment available was tomorrow! So it looks like I'll be on the train home tonight, and the train to London tomorrow morning! Here's hoping that my second doctor is more helpful in the everything department.
Monday 1 April 2013
Time To Go Home
Happy Easter everyone, or as I prefer it, Happy Zombie Jesus day.
So I've spent the past weeks and a bit at home in Essex, and I'm currently on the train back to Loughborough.
My time clock has been completely messed up this week. My friends are mostly nocturnal, so going round theirs in the evening usually means not getting home til 2am, sometimes later (my latest was 4:30am). Midnight McDonald's are a usual occurrence with them too. The McDonald's Monopoly started again last Friday, and we have most of the stickers already - I know, we're sad, but it's the only time it seems we get to really socialise with each other. Our local McD's is open 24/7, so we sit in the restaurant too. So, sitting on the train back to my cold flat (we all know it is going to be cold because I turned off the heating and it's been below freezing most days even though it is now spring), I'm thinking about all the things I've done since I've been home.
Okay so it wasn't really a family reunion but actually my second cousin once removed's wedding reception, but it's the only time the Irish side of my family seem to ever get together. And you can see by the mouthful of explaining which family member's wedding it was that it's easier to just say family reunion.
I still don't know and remember everyone that I was introduced to, but I have some idea.
I do not recommend this one to anyone who gets brain freezes easily, or who doesn't want to get diabetes. We did this the first Sunday I was home (not Easter Sunday thank goodness). I could only eat the Helter Skelters, and one of my friends ate about 20 of the lollies (there were 6 of us sharing this challenge). It was a ridiculous night that ended with McDonald's.
Doctor Who started again on Saturday. It has gotten over it's Stargate syndrome (the need for each episode to be bigger and better than the last) and has gone back to old Who, nearly. The opening sequence is very old style Doctor Who. [spoiler]The bells of Saint John were the telephone ringing in the tardis, and it got it's name from the Saint John's ambulance sticker on the door. My friend, who is a Saint John's volunteer, had a fanboy moment[/spoiler]
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| What I woke up to on Easter Sunday :) |
So I've spent the past weeks and a bit at home in Essex, and I'm currently on the train back to Loughborough.
My time clock has been completely messed up this week. My friends are mostly nocturnal, so going round theirs in the evening usually means not getting home til 2am, sometimes later (my latest was 4:30am). Midnight McDonald's are a usual occurrence with them too. The McDonald's Monopoly started again last Friday, and we have most of the stickers already - I know, we're sad, but it's the only time it seems we get to really socialise with each other. Our local McD's is open 24/7, so we sit in the restaurant too. So, sitting on the train back to my cold flat (we all know it is going to be cold because I turned off the heating and it's been below freezing most days even though it is now spring), I'm thinking about all the things I've done since I've been home.
1. Family Reunion
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| What my family's get-togethers are like |
2. Cinema
We actually went to the cinema twice, my friends and I, and we saw Trance and G.I. Joe 2. Having a friend who works at a cinema is really handy sometimes (free tickets, woo). Trance was a bit like Inception, but I actually understood what was happening in Trance. G.I. Joe 2, I'm glad I didn't pay to see it. It wasn't as good as G.I. Joe, but still a good shoot-em up.3. 50 Lollipop Challenge
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| This nearly caused several diabetic comas |
4. Doctor Who
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Saturday 23 March 2013
So what did you do today?
I just got in from having a two-odd hour chat with a very old friend of mine. Yes, it is past 4 in the morning, but I haven't seen him in ages and we needed to catch up.
He talked about all sorts of things that have happened to him recently, then asks about me.
So what have you been up to recently?
Umm... Nothing really. Looking back over my last couple of weeks, it been pretty shame-ish. Boring. I work 8-4, then when I get in I cook the same old thing then watch some catch-up tv online and play some video games. When I told him my life was pretty boring, he said that I was more interesting than the people who wait for the weekend so they can go clubbing and not wonder about the world. And by that I mean have an opinion and such. He then went on to ask me about the edge of space, to which I answered that there probably is no 'edge' to space or the universe, and the fact that we, as humans, try to compartmentalise the universe is wrong because not everything has to have an edge or be contained. Our human minds can't fathom the vast size of things and the potential nothingness that comes with the universe. If the universe is contained, what is it contained in? What is around it? But that's a whole other can of beans.
Nothing all that interesting has happened to me recently, and I can't talk to people about my job because they just wouldn't get it. I'm a software developer, and telling you how and why I fixed something is not interesting. It a job. I also haven't been to belly dancing recently because of my stupid crohn's flare up, nor have I been training for my 10km in May. I suppose I could have told him about that.
We talked about so much, but he did most of the talking. I just have nothing really all that interesting to talk about. Who would want to hear about my life?
He talked about all sorts of things that have happened to him recently, then asks about me.
So what have you been up to recently?
Umm... Nothing really. Looking back over my last couple of weeks, it been pretty shame-ish. Boring. I work 8-4, then when I get in I cook the same old thing then watch some catch-up tv online and play some video games. When I told him my life was pretty boring, he said that I was more interesting than the people who wait for the weekend so they can go clubbing and not wonder about the world. And by that I mean have an opinion and such. He then went on to ask me about the edge of space, to which I answered that there probably is no 'edge' to space or the universe, and the fact that we, as humans, try to compartmentalise the universe is wrong because not everything has to have an edge or be contained. Our human minds can't fathom the vast size of things and the potential nothingness that comes with the universe. If the universe is contained, what is it contained in? What is around it? But that's a whole other can of beans.
Nothing all that interesting has happened to me recently, and I can't talk to people about my job because they just wouldn't get it. I'm a software developer, and telling you how and why I fixed something is not interesting. It a job. I also haven't been to belly dancing recently because of my stupid crohn's flare up, nor have I been training for my 10km in May. I suppose I could have told him about that.
We talked about so much, but he did most of the talking. I just have nothing really all that interesting to talk about. Who would want to hear about my life?
Friday 22 March 2013
Lonely vs Alone
People may not realise it, but feeling lonely and feeling alone are two very different things. Feeling lonely is when you feel like you don't have people around you/friends, or you don't have a social life - lacking. Feeling alone is when you feel like you're the only person in the world - on your own. For most people, being on their own is a god send; it gives them a chance to do things that they couldn't do before or just some peace and quiet.
I felt very alone this time last year (Mar/Apr 2012). I was having a major flare-up of my arthritis and it felt like the world was going on without me. I didn't feel lonely because I always had my family or friends to chat to. Okay, there is a big difference when you live 200 miles away from everyone, but Skype makes things a bit easier. Anyway, when you have a chronic illness like arthritis (I didn't have Crohn's at the time) and all your friends are all healthy, you start to feel like you're the only one who has something wrong with them. My friends don't understand that I can't walk for very long, and I don't think they'll ever understand. My boyfriend and best friend have even said that they can't empathise because they have never felt what I feel. I ended up having to have counselling because I just felt so down and alone.
It's silly really what you end up feeling. I'm sure that people who don't have chronic illnesses feel similarly occasionally, but when you don't know anyone else who goes through you do and who knows what you are going on about, it really does feel like you are the only one in the world with the problem.
I felt very alone this time last year (Mar/Apr 2012). I was having a major flare-up of my arthritis and it felt like the world was going on without me. I didn't feel lonely because I always had my family or friends to chat to. Okay, there is a big difference when you live 200 miles away from everyone, but Skype makes things a bit easier. Anyway, when you have a chronic illness like arthritis (I didn't have Crohn's at the time) and all your friends are all healthy, you start to feel like you're the only one who has something wrong with them. My friends don't understand that I can't walk for very long, and I don't think they'll ever understand. My boyfriend and best friend have even said that they can't empathise because they have never felt what I feel. I ended up having to have counselling because I just felt so down and alone.
It's silly really what you end up feeling. I'm sure that people who don't have chronic illnesses feel similarly occasionally, but when you don't know anyone else who goes through you do and who knows what you are going on about, it really does feel like you are the only one in the world with the problem.
Wednesday 20 March 2013
Wednesday Wonderings: Manic Drivers
Every Tuesday is pretty much the same for me after work:
- I get a lift home from work
- I do my weekly shopping
- I get a battered sausage and chips from the local chippy (the owners know me pretty well now :) )
- I walk back to mine, enjoy my dinner then race to belly dancing
I recently started learning how to drive. I know, I'm a bit late but I've always been a bit worried that my arthritis would stop me. I've always been wary of other people on the road, as a passenger, driver or pedestrian. But when you cross the road on a zebra crossing, you (as a pedestrian) have right of way. Everybody knows that. But this maniac nearly ran me over while I was half way across the road. They swerved round me, thankfully, or else I'd probably be in hospital now instead of writing this post.
There are so many dangerous drivers out there. Two of my dad's colleagues, about 5 years ago, got run over on a zebra crossing, a hit and run job. They both needed time off and one ended up in hospital with a broken hip. People need to remember their highway code.
Something I've noticed while driving is that people drive way too close to other cars. My first time on a dual-carriage way, someone decided it would be a good idea to drive so close I couldn't even see their headlights. I really felt like braking and teaching them a lesson, but it wasn't my car and my driving instructor would probably have gotten in trouble for it. When my dad drove me back to Loughborough on Sunday, people on the motorway really annoyed me. There'd be plenty of room between two cars, or just about enough room for braking, and then a 'clever' car would nip into that space. Does that driver not realise that he's not only taken away the person behind's braking time-space, but also he's not got one either? If the car in front brakes or slows down dramatically, he's just cost probably not only his life/car, but the person behind him too.
I love how I've only just started driving, but I already have passive-aggressive road rage :)
There are so many dangerous drivers out there. Two of my dad's colleagues, about 5 years ago, got run over on a zebra crossing, a hit and run job. They both needed time off and one ended up in hospital with a broken hip. People need to remember their highway code.
Something I've noticed while driving is that people drive way too close to other cars. My first time on a dual-carriage way, someone decided it would be a good idea to drive so close I couldn't even see their headlights. I really felt like braking and teaching them a lesson, but it wasn't my car and my driving instructor would probably have gotten in trouble for it. When my dad drove me back to Loughborough on Sunday, people on the motorway really annoyed me. There'd be plenty of room between two cars, or just about enough room for braking, and then a 'clever' car would nip into that space. Does that driver not realise that he's not only taken away the person behind's braking time-space, but also he's not got one either? If the car in front brakes or slows down dramatically, he's just cost probably not only his life/car, but the person behind him too.
I love how I've only just started driving, but I already have passive-aggressive road rage :)
Sunday 17 March 2013
Medical Support
I've been with my gastroenterologist since I was diagnosed back in October. When I was first referred to him, he was brilliant. I had my colonoscopy quickly (unlike someone else I know who is currently on a waiting list, I had mine within a week of my first appointment). I had great faith in my doctor. The third time I saw him, back in December, things went a bit downhill. Most gastro docs don't like surgery; they see it as a last resort. Now, knowing that I have a mild case of crohn's disease and what I would call a manageable amount of pain, he was considering surgery. I'm still in my early twenties and only diagnosed two months beforehand. I didn't have the greatest faith in him after that visit. The last time I saw him was back in February (I see him every 6 weeks). Bearing in mind that I see him privately, have to catch a train from loughborough to Essex to see him and have a day off work, when he was over 30 minutes late and only saw me for 5 minutes telling me he couldn't do anything because he didn't have my latest blood test results (which is a lie because my healthcare assistant faxes them to his secretary) I lost all faith in him and I now feel like I am in this on my own. Don't get me wrong, I have my family to support me, but having someone who knows what they're doing and has knowledge in the area in which is causing you pain is a great gift and weight off your mind. I feel incredibly let down. Keeping in mind the fact that I see him privately, I'm meant to see him again next week, but he cancelled in the last minute and I can't see him now for another 3 weeks. So that's a train fare and day of work wasted.
Tuesday 12 March 2013
Updates
I got some bad news on Friday. My best friend from secondary school died :(
We hadn't talked to each other since she had a go at me and called me some pretty nasty names at the end of college (just the thing you want before you head to university [/sarcasm]), but it still hit pretty hard. She was diagnosed with Crohn's about a year before I was. I don't know why she died, but apparently she had been in a lot of pain recently, so it could have been anything. She just didn't wake up that morning.
My boyfriend travelled up to me the next day (3 hour drive) even though he was going to spend the weekend with his mum with it being Mother's day and all.We spent the weekend together, and he even took Monday off to look after me. He was going to leave Monday night, but then the snow arrived. He was snowed in. So he had Tuesday off too. It wasn't a lot of snow, but with it being a 3 hour drive when the roads are clear, he didn't want to risk anything. Plus it took a colleague of his 3 hours to get from the office to his home, which is usually only a 20 minute drive down a motorway.
On a slightly different note, I haven't done any training this week for my 10km with my dad in May. I just haven't felt up to it. I think I'm having a Crohn's flare, which is not good for my training or work. However, I have done a lot in the past few weeks (approximately 82km since January) so I think I'm allowed a week off. The furthest I have walked so far is only 5km, but I'm getting there.
We hadn't talked to each other since she had a go at me and called me some pretty nasty names at the end of college (just the thing you want before you head to university [/sarcasm]), but it still hit pretty hard. She was diagnosed with Crohn's about a year before I was. I don't know why she died, but apparently she had been in a lot of pain recently, so it could have been anything. She just didn't wake up that morning.
My boyfriend travelled up to me the next day (3 hour drive) even though he was going to spend the weekend with his mum with it being Mother's day and all.We spent the weekend together, and he even took Monday off to look after me. He was going to leave Monday night, but then the snow arrived. He was snowed in. So he had Tuesday off too. It wasn't a lot of snow, but with it being a 3 hour drive when the roads are clear, he didn't want to risk anything. Plus it took a colleague of his 3 hours to get from the office to his home, which is usually only a 20 minute drive down a motorway.
On a slightly different note, I haven't done any training this week for my 10km with my dad in May. I just haven't felt up to it. I think I'm having a Crohn's flare, which is not good for my training or work. However, I have done a lot in the past few weeks (approximately 82km since January) so I think I'm allowed a week off. The furthest I have walked so far is only 5km, but I'm getting there.
Wednesday 27 February 2013
Wednesday Wonderings: Badgers
My sister is an animal scientist, therefore I trust her a lot when it comes to animals. In the past six months, badger culls have been constantly thrown back and forth as to whether they would be effective in reducing bovine TB. Badgers only make up a small population of mammals that can carry the infection (pop. ~288,000) whereas there is a large population of deer (pop. unknown) and cats (feral and wild pop. 8.5m) that can carry bovine TB and come in to contact with the cows.
Culling badgers is not the answer, and neither is vaccinating them. Sort out the deer and cats, then start looking at badgers. The poor badgers are a protected species under The Badger Act of 1992. Badgers may not be the cutest (in some people's eyes) or the nicest animal, but they are a national animal. What do MPs have against badgers?
References: BBC, Bovine TB Forum, Binfield Badger Group
Wednesday 20 February 2013
Wednesday Wonderings: Processed Food
There has been a lot in the press recently about horse meat being in food that's meant to contain beef. I follow Daniel Hardcastle on Twitter, and he tweeted something rather funny about it:
Plus, this is probably a lot healthier too.
You know, the way this horse meat thing is going I bet we find out that cows don't actually exist.But the horse meat fiasco got me thinking, along with my two of my trigger foods being dairy and tomatoes, I can't actually eat many processed meals anymore (and I don't eat beef anyway). I used to eat lasagne, carbonara, pizza, all things you can just chuck in the microwave or oven for a couple of minutes. I'm really quite glad though because now I know exactly what is going in to my meals, and I have complete control over all of it. The only things I really miss are spinach and ricotta cannelloni and ravioli.
— Daniel Hardcastle (@DanNerdCubed) February 18, 2013
Plus, this is probably a lot healthier too.
Thursday 7 February 2013
Chocolate
I am a huge chocoholic, but when I found out that dairy is one of my trigger foods for my Crohn's I was very upset. I tried life without chocolate, but I just couldn't live without it.
One weekend, when my boyfriend visited me, we went to Nottingham and enjoyed an afternoon there. We had lunch in a nice little tea house tucked away in the city centre, and on the way back to the car we nipped in to Hotel Chocolat. They were having a 3 for 2 on their Selections, so we bought some dark chocolate ones for me, and he had a white chocolate one. I have to say, they are the best dark chocolate I have ever had (70%). I have never been a fan of dark chocolate, but Hotel Chocolat has changed my views on it. I particularly like the chocolate covered hazelnuts.
I would definitely recommend their chocolate to anyone who loves milk chocolate, but has found that they can't have it anymore. Try a bit of everything, you'd be surprised at what you like and don't like.
One weekend, when my boyfriend visited me, we went to Nottingham and enjoyed an afternoon there. We had lunch in a nice little tea house tucked away in the city centre, and on the way back to the car we nipped in to Hotel Chocolat. They were having a 3 for 2 on their Selections, so we bought some dark chocolate ones for me, and he had a white chocolate one. I have to say, they are the best dark chocolate I have ever had (70%). I have never been a fan of dark chocolate, but Hotel Chocolat has changed my views on it. I particularly like the chocolate covered hazelnuts.
I would definitely recommend their chocolate to anyone who loves milk chocolate, but has found that they can't have it anymore. Try a bit of everything, you'd be surprised at what you like and don't like.
Thursday 31 January 2013
Busy busy busy
Next week is going to be a very busy one for me.
Doctors on Monday, along with a blood test. I have to go every two weeks because I'm on Sulfasalazine (just to check my full blood count and liver functions, make sure it isn't killing me from the inside).
On Tuesday I've got a monthly review, just paperwork for my university, along with a four hour company meeting (free lunch :D).
On Monday and Tuesday, we are releasing a commercial and first beta (software engineering, fun times).
Wednesday I have my last meeting while in testing, and Thursday I move back to developing (I get swapped between both every 3 months). Thursday evening I'm on the train home (yay :)) and it's Sootie's first time on the train.
Friday is a trip to the GI consultant and physio.
Phew, long week ahead.
Doctors on Monday, along with a blood test. I have to go every two weeks because I'm on Sulfasalazine (just to check my full blood count and liver functions, make sure it isn't killing me from the inside).
On Tuesday I've got a monthly review, just paperwork for my university, along with a four hour company meeting (free lunch :D).
On Monday and Tuesday, we are releasing a commercial and first beta (software engineering, fun times).
Wednesday I have my last meeting while in testing, and Thursday I move back to developing (I get swapped between both every 3 months). Thursday evening I'm on the train home (yay :)) and it's Sootie's first time on the train.
Friday is a trip to the GI consultant and physio.
Phew, long week ahead.
Sunday 27 January 2013
Recipes - Chicken Stir Fry
This is one of my favourite quick dishes. It doesn't contain any of my trigger foods and is really rather healthy.
| Ingredients |  |
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Challenge Accepted
I set myself a challenge today - walk a 10km race.
I usually walk about 1km a day (I get a lift to work) so I'm 1/10 of the way there. I have until 11th May, so I reckon I can do it. I've just got to buy some proper trainers first.
I'll be walking for charity, F.O.R.T.H. and Crohn's and Colitis UK. If you would like to donate please use the button below or on the right side bar. Thank you.
I usually walk about 1km a day (I get a lift to work) so I'm 1/10 of the way there. I have until 11th May, so I reckon I can do it. I've just got to buy some proper trainers first.
I'll be walking for charity, F.O.R.T.H. and Crohn's and Colitis UK. If you would like to donate please use the button below or on the right side bar. Thank you.
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